Come to think of it, it's been awhile since we took Grandpa out for steak

One of the diagnoses that always causes this hardass cynic to grow a touch of empathy is rhabdomyolysis.  Usually, it's as a result of a frail elderly person falling in their house and lying there helpless in a pile of their own urine and feces for many hours and sometimes many days until a family member or UPS man or burglar or someone finds them as their muscle fibers break down and enter the bloodstream and wreck a bunch of shit (namely their kidneys).

So, an old man who was normally independent and actually quite active (skier and all that) falls down, probably due to a heart attack, and lies there weak with a broken wrist for a few days without food or fluids.  Finally, after phone calls went unanswered, the man's family comes and discovers him on lying on the floor.  

Concerned that he hasn't had anything to eat in awhile, the three adult grandchildren pick Grandpa off the floor, drag him to their SUV and rush him to the nearest....steakhouse for treatment of his rhabdomyolysis, heart attack, and broken arm.  Apparently he had a medium-rare ribeye, some potatoes and a glass of milk along with some water.  Obviously if your relative has been on the floor in a pile of their own urine for a couple of days, the first thing you should think is "steak topped with a bleu cheese crumble and a side of sauteed onions".  

Of course, later on, they figured out that maybe Grandpa's persistent lack of urination coupled with a mis-angled wrist and constant whining about being thirsty should necessitate a trip to the hospital, and they brought him in.