Babymama: She coughed once about an hour ago, and so I brought her in! I want her tested for the flu! Or maybe she swallowed something. Or maybe she has pneumonia!
Me: No fever? No trouble eating obviously?
Babymama: I didn't have time to check a temp, I just rushed her right down! Yeah, she's drinking just fine.
Me: Mmm...................kay. How long did she cough for?
Babymama: Like one cough...like this: *COUGH!*
29 comments:
Hey! Could be lung cancer from Mom's secondhand smoke!
She's trying to expectorate the dumb genes.
I think that requires a priest, and there was a movie based on the ceremony.
I had to make an ER visit on sunday and all I could think of was the nurse or the doctor was gonna blog about me! Thanks for that! (Oh I was a truck vs bike! ) :)
*facepalms onto desk*
Just when you think the human race couldn't get any stupider, someone has to go and disprove your theorem. Being all scientific and that you have to wonder when you'll hit baseline.
Thank god your back to blogging. LIfe just doesn't have that oomph if I can't read your blog lol!
That's about as ridiculous as someone coming to visit our ER with the complaint of vag bleed during her period.
Fing morons! Gotta love 'em.
Or not...
I am waiting for someone to bring their baby in complaining that its head is spinning around and vomiting pea soup, Exorcist-style.
DO NOT give that mother a sticker...
I'd give her a boot-in-the-butt sticker. "I got kicked out of the ER in record time!"
I remember sitting in the ER at Portsmouth Naval once and hearing the doctor telling a woman that her child had a cold, the same cold he had when she brought him in the day before, and it would be the same cold the next day too.
Why anyone with an IQ high enough to have managed to not kill their child in his first two years could think it was a good idea to sit in the old Portsmouth Naval ER for 4 hours two days running with a sick child is completely beyond me.
Ah yes, the dreaded single cough. Harbinger of certain doom.
Did she get Happy's patented shot in the arm of saline?
Made her crawl out to the fake potted plant in the lobby and cut me a switch. That'll learn her.
Was this one of Obama's millions of uninsured Americans? Thank God the Congress has passed a bill to help these poor folks! *hack* *hack*
Oh joy. That's about as good as the rule out labor:
Me: "When did your contractions start?"
Patient: "About 15 minutes ago."
Me: "Uh huh."
Hurry in to the hospital, the baby's going to fall out any second! Yeah, not in labor. GO HOME!
sounds like first time mama..and they ae the worst..I myself did this with my first born, then i had 4 more and colicky tiwns...now that was and eye opener...the only time they visited the er was when they were hawking up hair balls, and that decision was ify
"...expectorate the dumb genes."
That led to a splutter of tea over the keyboeard LMAO
(& Dr G's reply didn't help the splutter recovery lol)
Nurse K, may I borrow that? If'n I acknowledge the source? That's just too good not to spread 'round lol.
i have to tell you, i'm in nursing school (an accelerated 2nd degree program) and will graduate in july.
your blog=awesomeness.
"...expectorate the dumb genes."
priceless. so glad i stumbled upon your blog!!!
Nice work, she has it now!
Why anyone with an IQ high enough to have managed to not kill their child in his first two years could think it was a good idea to sit in the old Portsmouth Naval ER for 4 hours two days running with a sick child is completely beyond me.
Four hours? I never got out of there in under 8...And actually, I think I credit the survival of my older two with staying away from that hospital and its environs whenever possible.
What we have here is an oxymoron... too stupid to live yet alive and reproducing. But to soften the comment I used the prefix oxy.
Now I know why the world ends in 2012.
i wonder why health care is so expensive?? thanks lady!!! (kid probably medicaid, right)
I bet Dr. Big-Workup ordered a Chest X-Ray just to be sure it wasn't pneumonia.
Of course, the correct treatment would be an emergency tubal ligation on Babymama.
Eh, could just be first-time mom bull. The woman Library-Griffon describes is much worse.
My grandmother once rushed my uncle into the hospital when he was 8 mo old because he ate dog food. The nurses just laughed at her and got her some water to calm her down.
Duh...you wonder if these babymamas realize how many germy customers they're submitting jr to when they go park in the ER for hours.
Bubba has yet (knock knock knock) to set foot in the ER for anything. This momma's rule: "Don't jump on/off that. Momma does NOT want to go back to the hospital again if I am not working!"
Besides, if it's not life threatening, you can always bug the ped or peds nurse on call for a phone consult, which they get paid to do anyway on nights and weekends....and kicker...it's free!
Hmmm.... Close to worst complaint ever....I have you topped with two.
1) "My child Can't walk, she's all dizzy!!!" me:When did this start?
DumbMom "After she got off the Merry go Round"
2) "I want to be pregnant
I do not miss the ER much at all - spent way too much time there during my Residency. Tooth aches at 3am, piss in the eye, the 60 y/o who was nauseated and wanted a pregnancy test, the girl who had a positive pregnancy test at home and came to the ER for confirmation and requesting ultrasound, etc. Funny looking back, but experiencing it...uh uh. Love your blog by the way.
Oh, I know this so well...
OK, let me see if I'm following along here with the rapier-like intellect of mom--
1. Child coughs ONE time several hours ago.
2. Mom--fearing diseases both known and yet undiscovered races baby to the ER
3. Mom exposes baby to ER lobby full of people with real illnesses including the always baby-friendly H1N1.
--Raising a glass to the late Mr. Darwin--Cheers!
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